One week old....a little late.

So, I was going to document when Brylee had turned one week old....but that didn't happen. She did however turn a week old, and what a week it was! We brought Brylee home last Tuesday. I don't think Rusty or I were really wanting to leave the hospital. We got her dressed, in her car seat, and then just stared at each other. Rusty finally broke the silence when he looked at me and asked "What do we do with her now?!?!" We both laughed....and inwardly really wondered, what do we do with her? We said a prayer after putting her in the car to come home. After all, she is the most precious cargo there is. She slept all the way home. Good thing, my pain pills were still in effect and I felt like I was under water the whole time. I think if I had had to turn to take care of her, I would have tossed my cookies all over the backseat.

We arrived home to a house decorated. Not to mention that my amazing friend Lea had come and WAXED MY FLOORS for me! Who does that? Seriously?!?!?! But, Lea would. That's just who she is. Cameron and Ashley also had come and decorated and left yummy treats. Friends are awesome.

After that is kinda a blur.....and I will explain why. Our last full day in the hospital, I began to notice that she was a little fussy. I told Rusty and we both decided she just had a rough day before and she will get better. Somehow, I knew she just didn't feel good. Fast forward to the night we brought her home. My amazing mother (seriously...I love that woman!) came to help for a few days. We started that night hopeful that we would at least get a few hours of sleep. I was breastfeeding so not much anyone could do to help. By 4:00 am that morning when I had only slept for about 30 minutes, I broke down. It was the start of a very long and sad week. My little girl wasn't the happy baby I thought I would be bringing home. Still, I could tell she just didn't feel right. Finally, we go to see the pediatrician. She tells me she has colic and to expect it to be hard for a few weeks if not months. That was Thursday. By Saturday night, my nerves were pretty much shot.

So, without causing a ton of hate posts I will say this. I made a conscious decision to stop breastfeeding........and it was the best thing I could have done for my baby! Apparently she wasn't colicky, she was starving! After bawling my eyes out for a week, she sucked down an ounce and a half of formula after having nursed for an hour! AN HOUR! She just wasn't getting what she needed from my milk. Yes, it had come in. I pumped and the quantity of my milk was great, but apparently the quality wasn't. It just wasn't filling her up. The problem was that everything I ate gave her a tummy ache, so I was very limited on what I could eat to make the milk good. After the formula, my baby has not been the same. She lays on her back awake and happy. That never happened before that. She is finally content.

This mothering thing.....it's a lot harder than it looks from an Aunt's point of view. After being so close to my sister's girls while they were babies, I thought this was no big deal. I know babies! But, when you are the mom, it's a whole different ball game! It's me who has to make the decisions and live with the consequences. I have a feeling that my daughter is going through these experiences so that I may learn lessons. I feel so sorry for her for that first week. I would have been pissed off too if I were starving. I guess it's like everyone told me, there really isn't an instruction book or a return policy. Not that I would return her now. If you had asked me a week ago.....I might have thought about it! :)

As always, Rusty has been awesome. If for no other reason than the fact that he is still around after my breakdowns this last week. Thanks babe!

I thought I would post some pics and videos. Hopefully I can get the videos to work. Enjoy!

In my car seat ready to go home from the hospital! This is pretty much what she looked like for the first week. SO SAD!


Grandma Wilkins got a good shot right when I got home. I was still sleeping! You can really see how my feet look too!


My hair in this pic is a little "Kramer-ish". I had screamed and screamed until I passed out with Daddy. I LOVE sleeping on his chest!


Mom seems to do a lot of this with me. This is her favorite time with me, just her and I sleeping.


This is my cousin Bentley and I. We are only a few months apart in age but we are a little different in size!


This being a baby stuff is hard....can't you tell?